hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
