i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Is it because I queefed?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Randomize
