I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Randomize
