Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
