It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Randomize
