First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize