First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
