it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
