Do vagina's smell?
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
