Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Randomize
