You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
where am i from again
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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