eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
