no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize