would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
