Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize