so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
