oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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