im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
