You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
