I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I can't turn off my feet"
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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