God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
