Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
someone owes me an orgasm
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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