just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Randomize
