Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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