Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
