You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
