drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
