I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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