i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
dude i'm inner monologue high
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
