I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
