btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
