I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
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