my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
So many bounce houses so little time
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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