with your own penis?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Randomize
