You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
