CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
