Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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