We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize