i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
it wasn't lemon gatorade
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize