If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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