You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
