I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
another moral hangover. fuck.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
