That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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