margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
