I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
