Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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