She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
