smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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