toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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