I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
