4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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