I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
