So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
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