hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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