she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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