I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
