so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
When are your genitals available?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
