I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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