I wanna passion pit in your ass
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
